After three years of disappointment, tears, heartbreak, pain, unanswered questions, and failed medical treatments, we were finally able to conceive through the modern miracle of in vitro fertilization! Baby is due to arrive in early August 2017, and we are so grateful for the skilled reproductive endocrinologists, IVF coordinators, embryologists and nurses who have made our dream of becoming parents a reality, along with prayers and fasting of loved ones, priesthood blessings and miracles from Heavenly Father that we know have all contributed to this success. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us or reached out to support us through our infertility journey in any way—we appreciate it more than you know!
Even though it still seems so early on in pregnancy we decided to share our news now because to us, this little life inside me is so worth celebrating, no matter what the future holds. We are very aware that anything could happen and that life is extremely fragile, especially at such early stages of development. After going through so many months of continuous crushed hopes, we have moments where getting this good news feels too good to be true, and find ourselves holding our breath between every doctor appointment. But we are so grateful to find ourselves in this situation that we want to praise God and rejoice in the creation of this little life no matter what. If there’s one thing infertility has taught us, it’s that we will take no part of pregnancy or parenthood for granted. We consider every day with our baby a gift.
These Happy New Year cards were our way of announcing to family just a couple weeks ago so I thought I’d share them and the story behind them with you as well. On our New Year card, I included our little version of some lyrics from the hymn “The Lord is my Light” and wanted to explain the reason behind that. For those who don’t know much about IVF, it is a draining process in every way—physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. It’s also just a long process—in our case, I started on drugs for IVF in August and just finished taking the last one a few days ago. IVF involves lots and lots of medication, in the forms of pills, patches, shots, and more. The shots were the part I was most nervous for (other than the invasive and painful surgeries) because I am not a huge fan of needles and I had to face that fear and learn to poke myself in the stomach in order to give myself the medicine on the days when Shawn couldn’t be home at the time I had to have it. And then there were also several weeks of painful daily shots to my backside using 3-inch long needles. Some days felt pretty overwhelming. On the day of our transfer (the day when one of our embryos would be transferred to my uterus after growing to a certain stage and being frozen until the transfer) I was a nervous wreck. All the what-if’s flooded my mind. What if this doesn’t work? What if I took my medicine a little late one day and I’ve messed everything up? What if the transfer is successful but then I miscarry? What if, what if, what if? I opened up my scriptures to where I had left off in my studying, and the verse that I read spoke peace to my soul: “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.” (2nd Nephi 22:2) Immediately the song “The Lord Is My Light“ also started running through my mind: “The Lord is my light, the Lord is my song, by day and by night He leads me along.” I clung to the comfort from that scripture and song through that day and several days of anxious waiting that followed. It reminded me that the Lord has led us through both our brightest days and darkest nights, and that He would continue to lead us along through the good times and hard times ahead, and that we needed to trust Him and not be afraid. It continues to feel like the perfect motto for us to focus on this year. Thank you again for your continued prayers, love, and support!